Entry tags:

fic, harry/draco

Fic: Falling, PG/PG-13
So, I wrote this for this piece of art by saoni, following the plot suggestion of jennytork in hp_synergy. As per usual, cloudsurfing beta'd for me. :)

Title: Falling
Author: foreword
Rating: PG/PG-13
Pairing: H/D
Disclaimer: So not mine. Even less mine than usual.
Summary: Draco learns how to see.

I shut my eyes in order to see.

-Paul Gauguin

Harry was in his seventh year at Hogwarts when Malfoy got hurt.

The worst part about the attack, he decided later, was how unexpected it was. You would think that they would be prepared for attacks on Hogsmeade. You would think the professors would be prepared for such an eventuality. The sad truth was, no one saw it coming.

Harry, especially, felt as if he should have.

Someone coughed and Harry paused in his pacing outside the Hospital Wing, staring at the thick wooden door and wondering if it was him. He had been coming to see him every day. Every day, Harry would walk up to the Hospital Wing. And every day, Harry stopped at the door, and listened. And every day, Harry left without crossing the threshold.

McGonagall gave him stern looks the first few days, when he’d be late for class because he had been staring at the door. When he started missing lessons, she threatened to remove him from the Quidditch team. When he stopped going to practise anyway, she started bringing him food during his day-long vigils.

Finally, two weeks after Malfoy was hit, two weeks after their little secret caught up with them, two weeks after the attack, Harry opened the door.

Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow as he stepped inside, but withheld her usual scowl as he made his way down the row of beds, peeking behind the curtains as he went.

He was in the last bed, by the window. Harry didn’t understand why.

Draco was still as beautiful as he’d always been, the sheets rumpled around his waist as if he’d been impatient and restless thus far, his hair tousled slightly against the pillow and his eyes… Those angry gray eyes staring blankly out the window. Harry wondered if Draco even knew he was there. He thought frantically about leaving for a moment, but then –

“Harry.”

He swallowed hard, and how did he know?

“Yea.”

Draco jumped, visibly startled as he sat up, twisting in Harry’s direction, searching for the boy and not finding him. He scowled after another moment of silence.

“Having a good laugh, Potter? Planning on saying anything or have you taken up voyeurism?”

Harry swallowed hard, frantically shaking his head until he realised how useless the gesture was. As advanced as medicine in the magical world was, there was nothing to be done for loss of eyesight. Harry had his glasses and Dumbledore had his spectacles and Draco had nothing.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

Draco was silent, turning his gaze back in the direction of the window and folding his arms across his chest.

Harry frowned and paused before crossing the space between them, taking a seat on the bed next to him, by the window.

“Are you… Do you want me to go?”

Draco sighed but didn’t bother turning his head this time.

“I suppose I should be honoured that you’ve spared me so much time, and after only a mere two weeks.”

Harry swallowed hard.

“I came to see you. Every day.”

Draco scowled, and Harry wondered if he would answer him anymore.

“Funny. I didn’t see you.”

Harry bit his lip, glancing at the other boy and tentatively touching his hand, ducking his head toward Draco and whispering.

“I waited outside.”

Draco snorted, turning his head toward Harry, his cool gray gaze staring at Harry unseeing.

“And what were you waiting for?”

Harry swallowed.

“I was scared.”

Draco tensed, turning back to the window.

“Of me?”

Harry shook his head violently, before realizing the futility of it once again.

“No. No, not of you. I was… It was just that…”

Harry paused, biting his lip and looking down at the sheets.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me here.”

Draco turned quickly, facing Harry once again.

“Why not?”

Harry stared at him for a moment in silence.

“It’s my fault.”

Draco scowled and turned away from him again, toward the window.

“Still just as much of an imbecile as you’ve always been, Potter.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open slightly and Draco continued staring in the direction of the window, closing his eyes at the feeling of the sun on his face.

“It is. If it wasn’t for… If we hadn’t… You would be okay if you hadn’t ever bothered with me.”

Draco tensed and opened his eyes again, turning to glare at Harry, his fingers scrabbling for Harry’s, grabbing them tightly in a gesture that was fueled more by anger than compassion.

“Fuck you, Potter.”

Harry gripped his hand tightly in return.

“I’m sorry.”

Draco twisted his hand, digging his fingernails into Harry’s skin. Harry winced.

“Shut. Up.”

Harry bit his lip, silent for a few minutes. Draco turned back to the window again. This time, Harry followed his gaze.

It was probably one of the last days of autumn. The last of the leaves were falling, the Forbidden Forest still sprinkled with shades of red and gold, and the sun still warmed the fields, but the wind had a bite to it now. Harry hadn’t been outside in almost a week. He glanced back at Draco, hesitantly.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

Draco tensed, opening his mouth to respond but closing it again. After another minute, he spoke.

“I… can’t go on my own.”

He scowled as he spoke, and the tension with which he answered pained Harry.

“I wouldn’t let you.”

Draco continued staring out the window, pouting slightly and blinking.

“Fine. Let’s go, then.”

The castle was quiet, and Harry was relieved. He figured it was probably the middle of lessons, though at the moment he couldn’t care. Draco’s hand was in his and he was leading him out the front doors of Hogwarts.

Draco had grudgingly agreed to slip on one of the shirts Pansy had left by his bed earlier in the week, trudging slowly out after Harry, gripping his hand as if he was afraid Harry would pull away at any second, leaving him stranded.

Madame Pomfrey had watched them leave without a word, though Harry noted her worried glance at Draco’s bare neck and open shirt. Harry wasn’t about to attempt to mother the other boy, or acknowledge how fragile Draco still was. He knew as soon as he did, Draco would let go. So Harry held on, and led the way without a word.

It was much colder outside than he had expected, the very last reminders of that violent autumn drifting down around the pair as Harry led Draco down the steps. He wasn’t sure where to take him, now that he had him. He wasn’t sure where Draco wanted to go, so he stopped when they’d finally reached the ground.

“Is there anywhere you want to s—“ Harry bit his lip and glanced around them awkwardly, running his thumb over the back of Draco’s hand. “Is there somewhere you want to go?”

Draco didn’t respond and for a brief, frantic moment, Harry worried that he’d just tell him to fuck off.

“It doesn’t matter, does it?”

His voice was cold and Harry cringed.

“It does. Anywhere you want. I’ll take you there.”

Draco turned to face him, staring blankly at Harry’s collarbone, which was at the moment partially obscured by the scarf that seemed determined to wrap itself around Draco as well.

Not that it mattered.

“It doesn’t matter.”

And this time, Harry realised it wasn’t sadness he heard in Draco’s voice. It was… was it relief? He shifted, turning to face him, raising his other hand to tug off his glasses and touch Draco’s cheek. Draco didn’t flinch, didn’t move away, staring up now, and Harry leaned forward without hesitation, kissing him softly.

Draco didn’t kiss him back, but he didn’t pull away, either. Finally Harry broke the kiss, frowning as he examined the other boy’s expression, his thumb brushing Draco’s cheek as his hand threatened to let his glasses fall from loose fingers.

“Do you… want me to go?”

Draco shook his head violently, turning his face to the ground and resting his forehead against Harry’s as he closed his eyes.

“What if I forget…?”

Harry frowned. He wished he could understand. He wished it had never happened, but it wouldn’t be quite so awful if he could understand why.

“Forget what?”

“You.”

Harry frowned and pulled away, shaking his head and tilting Draco’s face up again, kissing him softly.

“I won’t let you.”